Little Girl Lost...
How can you find your way if you can't open your eyes.
How can you heal unless you realize...
That we're not here to hurt you.
Little Girl Lost...
You'd rather find your own way home
And say 'I made it this far all alone...
And I can make it back without you.'
Little Girl Blind...
Our hands are reaching out for you.
And words we say aren't breaking through...
While you're stumbling through the dark.
Little Girl Gone...
We tried our best to stop your pain.
Our hearts will never open again...
For fear of breaking apart.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
My "Christopher Columbus" post from my old (2005) blog:
Christopher Columbus (that is his "english-version" name) sailed the ocean blue in 1492....but what else did he do?
Let me tell you...
First, he intended to find a sea-trade route to Asia by traveling across the Atlantic Ocean....not knowing that a landmass that stretched from pole to pole would get in his way. So when he spotted land, he just knew that he had hit China or India...sorry, Chris, only a few thousand miles off on that one.
His ships found land in the Bahamas, he was greeted by VERY FREINDLY Arawak Indians, who brought them food, water, and gifts. These Indians hadn't even seen metal weapons before.
The Arawaks were communal, meaning that they shared everything and had no need for battles, anger, jealousy, or greed...much different than their new friends, the Europeans.
So, naturally, Columbus and his crew took them as slaves and forced them to bring him gold, and when they didn't bring enough, he cut their hands and arms off. Others were hanged or burned to death. Some were hunted down with dogs. In two years of occupation in the Haiti and Dominican Republic area (Hispanola) over half of the original 250,000 Arawaks were dead.
In a memoir about the times, it was told that the Spaniards made the Indians carry them on their backs or in hammocks, and "thought nothing of knifing Indians by tens and twenties and of cutting slices off them to test the sharpness of their blades."
And you can only imagine what Columbus (who died of syphilis, strangely) and his men did to the poor Arawak women while their husbands were away, slaving in gold mines.
SO......Chris Columbus....here's to you....may you rot in peace.
Let me tell you...
First, he intended to find a sea-trade route to Asia by traveling across the Atlantic Ocean....not knowing that a landmass that stretched from pole to pole would get in his way. So when he spotted land, he just knew that he had hit China or India...sorry, Chris, only a few thousand miles off on that one.
His ships found land in the Bahamas, he was greeted by VERY FREINDLY Arawak Indians, who brought them food, water, and gifts. These Indians hadn't even seen metal weapons before.
The Arawaks were communal, meaning that they shared everything and had no need for battles, anger, jealousy, or greed...much different than their new friends, the Europeans.
So, naturally, Columbus and his crew took them as slaves and forced them to bring him gold, and when they didn't bring enough, he cut their hands and arms off. Others were hanged or burned to death. Some were hunted down with dogs. In two years of occupation in the Haiti and Dominican Republic area (Hispanola) over half of the original 250,000 Arawaks were dead.
In a memoir about the times, it was told that the Spaniards made the Indians carry them on their backs or in hammocks, and "thought nothing of knifing Indians by tens and twenties and of cutting slices off them to test the sharpness of their blades."
And you can only imagine what Columbus (who died of syphilis, strangely) and his men did to the poor Arawak women while their husbands were away, slaving in gold mines.
SO......Chris Columbus....here's to you....may you rot in peace.
Some Mitch Hedberg gems. Rest In Peace, Mitch!
* I played golf, I'm not good at golf, I never got good at it. I never got a hole in one, but I did hit a guy once. And that's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell "fore." But I was too busy mumbling, "There is no way that's gonna hit him." I hit a guy in one. What's par for hitting a guy? One. If you hit a guy in two, you are an asshole.
* This one time I was in a convenience store, and guy came up and asked me, "What's the score?" and I said, "What is the game? If it's a competition between me and you, and the object is to ask the other guy questions he doesn't give a shit about, then you are winning, one to nothing."
* You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish; they just want to make it late for something. "Why were you late?" "I got caught!" "Bullshit, lemme see the inside of your lip!"
* I get the Reese's candy bar. If you read that name "Reese's" that's an apostrophe S. Reese's apostrophe S at the end of that name. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar and a guy name Reese comes by and says, "Let me have that," you better hand it over. "I'm sorry, Reese. I didn't think I'd ever run into you. You're a fucking bully, man. Let me at least have a piece."
* I like a Jack & Coke. One time, I saw a Jack & Coke and it had a lime floating in it, and I thought, "That's good to know." Next time I'm on a boat and it capsizes, I will reach for a lime. I'll be water skiing without a life jacket and people will be like "What the fuck?" and I'll pull out a lime. I'll pull out a lemon too, saved by the buoyancy of citrus!
* I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
* This sign says "IMPROV". I had a bad set on Friday night so yesterday they put an "E" on the end of it
* At some comedy clubs they pass out comment cards. You fill it out with your name and address, and there's a line for comments for people to put what they think. Sometimes people write negative things, and that's not necessary. I've read some that say "Mitch sucks" but I look up above and it has their name and address. That's right I do suck, but I've got alot of free time.
* I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
* I've got a do not disturb sign on my hotel door, it says 'do not disturb.' It's time to go with Don't disturb, it's been 'do not' for too long. We need to embrace the contraction. Don't disturb, 'do not' psyches you out. 'Do', alright I get to disturb this guy, 'Not'... Shit!!... I need to read faster!" I like to wear a do not disturb sign on my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock knock jokes. Say "Hey how ya doin' Nephew?" "Knock Knock" "Read the sign punk!"
* I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
* I was in a convenience store reading a magazine and the clerk came up to me and said "This is not a library". so I said, "All right, I will talk louder then!"
* My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which one's the real hero?
* I have a king sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one ever needed to sleep over, I guess he'd be comfortable. Oh, you're a king you say? Wait until you see what I have in store for you! It is to your exact specifications...I did not know you guys were all the same size. I think I can set your lady up too! When I was a kid, I used to lie awake in my twin-sized bed wonderin' where my brother was...
* You know when you go to a concert like punk-rock and the kids get on stage and they jump into the crowd? People think that's dangerous, but not me... because humans are made of 95% water, so the audience is 5% away from a pool.
* I wanted to get my teeth whitened, but I said fuck that, I'll get a tan instead.
* Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.
* I would imagine that if you could understand morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy
* I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.
* Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
* This one time I was in a convenience store, and guy came up and asked me, "What's the score?" and I said, "What is the game? If it's a competition between me and you, and the object is to ask the other guy questions he doesn't give a shit about, then you are winning, one to nothing."
* You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish; they just want to make it late for something. "Why were you late?" "I got caught!" "Bullshit, lemme see the inside of your lip!"
* I get the Reese's candy bar. If you read that name "Reese's" that's an apostrophe S. Reese's apostrophe S at the end of that name. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar and a guy name Reese comes by and says, "Let me have that," you better hand it over. "I'm sorry, Reese. I didn't think I'd ever run into you. You're a fucking bully, man. Let me at least have a piece."
* I like a Jack & Coke. One time, I saw a Jack & Coke and it had a lime floating in it, and I thought, "That's good to know." Next time I'm on a boat and it capsizes, I will reach for a lime. I'll be water skiing without a life jacket and people will be like "What the fuck?" and I'll pull out a lime. I'll pull out a lemon too, saved by the buoyancy of citrus!
* I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
* This sign says "IMPROV". I had a bad set on Friday night so yesterday they put an "E" on the end of it
* At some comedy clubs they pass out comment cards. You fill it out with your name and address, and there's a line for comments for people to put what they think. Sometimes people write negative things, and that's not necessary. I've read some that say "Mitch sucks" but I look up above and it has their name and address. That's right I do suck, but I've got alot of free time.
* I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
* I've got a do not disturb sign on my hotel door, it says 'do not disturb.' It's time to go with Don't disturb, it's been 'do not' for too long. We need to embrace the contraction. Don't disturb, 'do not' psyches you out. 'Do', alright I get to disturb this guy, 'Not'... Shit!!... I need to read faster!" I like to wear a do not disturb sign on my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock knock jokes. Say "Hey how ya doin' Nephew?" "Knock Knock" "Read the sign punk!"
* I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
* I was in a convenience store reading a magazine and the clerk came up to me and said "This is not a library". so I said, "All right, I will talk louder then!"
* My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which one's the real hero?
* I have a king sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one ever needed to sleep over, I guess he'd be comfortable. Oh, you're a king you say? Wait until you see what I have in store for you! It is to your exact specifications...I did not know you guys were all the same size. I think I can set your lady up too! When I was a kid, I used to lie awake in my twin-sized bed wonderin' where my brother was...
* You know when you go to a concert like punk-rock and the kids get on stage and they jump into the crowd? People think that's dangerous, but not me... because humans are made of 95% water, so the audience is 5% away from a pool.
* I wanted to get my teeth whitened, but I said fuck that, I'll get a tan instead.
* Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.
* I would imagine that if you could understand morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy
* I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.
* Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Who Can It Be Now?
Last night, a large number of the exclusive Seafood Tavern gents dressed up and went to the Warehouse to watch Colin Hay...former frontman for Men At Work. The show was amazing and it was part "concert" and part "VH1 Storytellers." Colin's still got a great voice and his solo stuff is incredible. The only solo song I heard before last night was "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" which was featured on the Garden State soundtrack and passed around on a love-triangle mix-tape CD that I ended up with ( I won't go into details...you know who you are).
The guys (KC, Tyler, Nick, Bobby and Wes.......wow, sounds like a Boy Band) and I were pretty dapper last night. Aside from Bobby hijacking the merch table, it was pretty uneventful. I bought Colin's new CD and it's a great one. We all took a picture with Colin and I got him to autograph my CD. I stopped short of telling him that I've got a stuffed Koala that sings "Down Under" and that me and Kelly sing that song every week. I figured that would be overkill....get it? He's got a song called "Overkill."
More later....
The guys (KC, Tyler, Nick, Bobby and Wes.......wow, sounds like a Boy Band) and I were pretty dapper last night. Aside from Bobby hijacking the merch table, it was pretty uneventful. I bought Colin's new CD and it's a great one. We all took a picture with Colin and I got him to autograph my CD. I stopped short of telling him that I've got a stuffed Koala that sings "Down Under" and that me and Kelly sing that song every week. I figured that would be overkill....get it? He's got a song called "Overkill."
More later....
Monday, October 12, 2009
Christopher Columbus needed GPS
Before I start my rant, let me qualify it by saying that I have a Deep Hatred for lies in "accepted History" in this country. I have dozens of books which tell the truth about our history and expose lies, myths, and half-truths that are being shoved into textbooks and other historical volumes.
One of my favorite things to gripe about concerning the history of our country and continent is the widely-accepted (and rarely refuted) claim that Christopher Columbus sailed across the Atlantic Ocean searching for India and attempting to prove that the world wasn't "flat." First, proof that the world isn't flat was made CENTURIES before Columbus was even born...perhaps even longer than that. The "flat earth" myth comes from Washington Irving's biography about Columbus. It was not a researched fact by Irving, but it has survived the Columbus Myth to this day.
In fact, the circumference of the earth had been calculated by numerous ancient tribes and civilizations. Eratosthenes is generally given credit for calculating the size (and shape) of the earth in 240 B.C., but the Egyptians and Sumerians preceded him in generating it at least 2000 years earlier.
In Charles Hapgood's book "Maps of the Ancient Sea Kings" there are numerous contemporary maps made around the time of Columbus's arrival in the Western Hemisphere that accurately show the coastlines of both Central and South America. Some even show a good portion of eastern North America.
Barry Fell's book "America: B.C." outlines numerous civilizations that traveled to North America in the centuries before Columbus's first trip. The Phoenicians, the Assyrians, the Egyptians, the Irish, the Celts, the Libyans, the Vikings, the Romans and the Western Africans, the Norwegians, the Chinese and the Basque (Spanish). In fact, the first voyage Columbus took was piloted by Basque men.
In fact, on Columbus's 4th trip (to Costa Rica) in 1502, the natives took him and his crew on a 2-hour trek through the jungle to the grave of previous explorers who were buried under the prow of a ship...obvious proof that the Columbus crew weren't the first to visit. And when he visited Haiti, the native Arawaks had spear points made from "guanine" that were given to them from "black traders from the South and East."
Now, we need to address the real reasoning for Columbus's voyage...Spanish colonization and fortune hunting. In the fifty years after the first voyage, the Spanish conquered, destroyed and colonized much of Central and South America--almost completely wiping out complete civilizations and cultures that pre-dated Spain as a country. They single-handedly wiped out the Aztec and Inca empires. The introduction to Smallpox virtually wiped out millions of natives, not to mention the mass killings at the hands of Spanish missionaries.
On his first trip, he kidnapped about 20 natives and took them back to Spain. Only a few of them survived the trip. But they also brought parrots, gold trinkets, and other goodies with them. On the next trip, Ferdinand and Isabella provided Columbus with 17 ships, over 1,000 men, cannons, crossbows, guns, cavalry, and attack dogs. Get the picture?
Needless to say, on the next few trips, the Arawak Indians were forced to fetch gold for the Spanish conquerors and faced death or losing their hands to the blade if they didn't bring an ample amount. What followed was the equivalent of cultural genocide at the hands of the Columbus crew. From 1494 to 1508 in Hispanola, over 3 million perished from famine, slavery, war or mining for gold.
I think it would be overkill to outline the following travesties at the hands of the Spanish and Western Europeans that the Mayans, Inca, Aztecs and others faced in the following years.
And we gave this guy a Federal Holiday? Really?
One of my favorite things to gripe about concerning the history of our country and continent is the widely-accepted (and rarely refuted) claim that Christopher Columbus sailed across the Atlantic Ocean searching for India and attempting to prove that the world wasn't "flat." First, proof that the world isn't flat was made CENTURIES before Columbus was even born...perhaps even longer than that. The "flat earth" myth comes from Washington Irving's biography about Columbus. It was not a researched fact by Irving, but it has survived the Columbus Myth to this day.
In fact, the circumference of the earth had been calculated by numerous ancient tribes and civilizations. Eratosthenes is generally given credit for calculating the size (and shape) of the earth in 240 B.C., but the Egyptians and Sumerians preceded him in generating it at least 2000 years earlier.
In Charles Hapgood's book "Maps of the Ancient Sea Kings" there are numerous contemporary maps made around the time of Columbus's arrival in the Western Hemisphere that accurately show the coastlines of both Central and South America. Some even show a good portion of eastern North America.
Barry Fell's book "America: B.C." outlines numerous civilizations that traveled to North America in the centuries before Columbus's first trip. The Phoenicians, the Assyrians, the Egyptians, the Irish, the Celts, the Libyans, the Vikings, the Romans and the Western Africans, the Norwegians, the Chinese and the Basque (Spanish). In fact, the first voyage Columbus took was piloted by Basque men.
In fact, on Columbus's 4th trip (to Costa Rica) in 1502, the natives took him and his crew on a 2-hour trek through the jungle to the grave of previous explorers who were buried under the prow of a ship...obvious proof that the Columbus crew weren't the first to visit. And when he visited Haiti, the native Arawaks had spear points made from "guanine" that were given to them from "black traders from the South and East."
Now, we need to address the real reasoning for Columbus's voyage...Spanish colonization and fortune hunting. In the fifty years after the first voyage, the Spanish conquered, destroyed and colonized much of Central and South America--almost completely wiping out complete civilizations and cultures that pre-dated Spain as a country. They single-handedly wiped out the Aztec and Inca empires. The introduction to Smallpox virtually wiped out millions of natives, not to mention the mass killings at the hands of Spanish missionaries.
On his first trip, he kidnapped about 20 natives and took them back to Spain. Only a few of them survived the trip. But they also brought parrots, gold trinkets, and other goodies with them. On the next trip, Ferdinand and Isabella provided Columbus with 17 ships, over 1,000 men, cannons, crossbows, guns, cavalry, and attack dogs. Get the picture?
Needless to say, on the next few trips, the Arawak Indians were forced to fetch gold for the Spanish conquerors and faced death or losing their hands to the blade if they didn't bring an ample amount. What followed was the equivalent of cultural genocide at the hands of the Columbus crew. From 1494 to 1508 in Hispanola, over 3 million perished from famine, slavery, war or mining for gold.
I think it would be overkill to outline the following travesties at the hands of the Spanish and Western Europeans that the Mayans, Inca, Aztecs and others faced in the following years.
And we gave this guy a Federal Holiday? Really?
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Ugly Americans
Okay, rant time.
So Obama--deserving or not--just won the Nobel Peace Prize and the crazies come out to play. First of all, do I think he deserved it? Probably not...at least not yet. Do I understand why they gave it to him? Yeah, probably. Two big reasons he might have won: (1) He's not Bush and his election caused a lot of countries that were turned off by Bush's cowboy attitude to be hopeful that the greatest nation in the world finally has someone willing to talk things over instead of using "Crusade talk" and his "with us or against us" speech. (2) He voted against the wars as a Senator and chaired the Nuclear Disarmament Summit at the UN and urged the "superpower" countries to ease up on their stockpiles.
The funniest talk is that people are comparing his win to the other U.S. Presidents who have won. Nowhere in the Nobel Prize's nomination process does it state that they have to be a leader of a country to win. They most likely based this on his promises (kept or not) made during the campaign and the reaction the rest of the world had when he was elected. Anyone remember the worldwide celebration, or are we still too bitter?
Let me state again that he probably didn't deserve it, but the Mexican soap opera-style melodrama being played out by his critics is almost comical. I was actually waiting for GOP Chairman Michael Steele to interrupt Obama during his speech yesterday by grabbing the microphone and saying "Hey, Barack.....I'm gonna' let you finish in a minute.....but Martin Luther King was the BEST Nobel Peace Prize winner EVER!"
You may think I'm sticking up for Obama. Full disclosure: I voted for him...mainly out of the fear of the possibility of a Sarah Palin administration if McCain couldn't keep his heart beating. In fact, I really liked McCain back in 2000 and wanted him to beat Bush. I think Bush sealed his own fate when he got Dick Cheney to "nominate himself" for Vice President. I honestly think that McCain could have held Bush in check and things would've ended up better than they are now. Had McCain picked ANY of the "also rans" in the GOP Primary as his VP, I might have even voted for him. I kind of felt sorry for the way he was twisted into some new person once Palin entered the picture. McCain of 2000 could easily be a very popular president right now.
What I don't get, however, is how the conservatives went from calling liberals "un-American"....to celebrating the loss of a chance to host the Olympic Games and pulling their hair out over the fact that the President won some SYMBOLIC prize from a jury of 5 Norwegians. Have we really become that petty? You can really tell the people who just DON'T LIKE OBAMA as a person....or a human being for that matter. They're the ones who count how many times he says the word "I" in his speeches. They're the ones who are outraged that he went with Michelle to a Broadway show. At least he wasn't "clearing brush on a ranch." The same could be said for those who treated George Bush the same way.
It was a little unfair for those who bashed Bush for every little thing. I'm sure there are a lot of things that are good about Bush as a person, friend, or dad.....but in my opinion, he was a horrible "spokesman" for the American people. Without the 9/11 attack, I think he would've had a virtually uneventful term. But the obvious need for us to fight back gave him the opportunity to show our "ugly American" side to the rest of the world. In the month after the attack, MOST of the world was behind us....a year later, many countries DESPISED us. That is a simple fact. Most of that can't be blamed simply on Bush, though. It was the "Freedom Fries" and the "How many wars has France won" lists on talk radio. It was the use of the word "Crusade" by a Christian president in a war against Islamic radicals. Most Americans would respond to that statement with "we don't care what other countries think of us." Well, how many countries devoted some of their troops IN OUR DEFENSE against the Taliban and al Qaeda? Lots of them. They did this because they wanted to support us.
I would love for those who whine and moan about EVERY LITTLE THING "the other side" says or does in this country to view it from another country's point of view. We must seem like a nation of spoiled brats and crybabies. In the past year, we've gone from blaming Bush for lying about the need for war--to questioning our elected President's place of birth, complaining about our President joining OTHER HEADS OF STATE in trying to bring his country the Olympic games, videos of reporters rejoicing in the fact that a major US city will not receive a host of international visitors and the money they'll bring to the economy, and heated debates about the validity of a Nobel Prize. Now I know where the term "Ugly American" comes from.
Another disclosure: I love this country. We survived 8 years of 2 wars and a very shady administration and I believe we'll survive the next 4 or 8 years. The fact that we get to have major elections every two years is what makes us so great. If you don't like it, vote for a change. But in a country where only about 60% of registered voters voted in the 2008 election...what do you expect?
Okay. Rant over. My apologies to those I've offended.
So Obama--deserving or not--just won the Nobel Peace Prize and the crazies come out to play. First of all, do I think he deserved it? Probably not...at least not yet. Do I understand why they gave it to him? Yeah, probably. Two big reasons he might have won: (1) He's not Bush and his election caused a lot of countries that were turned off by Bush's cowboy attitude to be hopeful that the greatest nation in the world finally has someone willing to talk things over instead of using "Crusade talk" and his "with us or against us" speech. (2) He voted against the wars as a Senator and chaired the Nuclear Disarmament Summit at the UN and urged the "superpower" countries to ease up on their stockpiles.
The funniest talk is that people are comparing his win to the other U.S. Presidents who have won. Nowhere in the Nobel Prize's nomination process does it state that they have to be a leader of a country to win. They most likely based this on his promises (kept or not) made during the campaign and the reaction the rest of the world had when he was elected. Anyone remember the worldwide celebration, or are we still too bitter?
Let me state again that he probably didn't deserve it, but the Mexican soap opera-style melodrama being played out by his critics is almost comical. I was actually waiting for GOP Chairman Michael Steele to interrupt Obama during his speech yesterday by grabbing the microphone and saying "Hey, Barack.....I'm gonna' let you finish in a minute.....but Martin Luther King was the BEST Nobel Peace Prize winner EVER!"
You may think I'm sticking up for Obama. Full disclosure: I voted for him...mainly out of the fear of the possibility of a Sarah Palin administration if McCain couldn't keep his heart beating. In fact, I really liked McCain back in 2000 and wanted him to beat Bush. I think Bush sealed his own fate when he got Dick Cheney to "nominate himself" for Vice President. I honestly think that McCain could have held Bush in check and things would've ended up better than they are now. Had McCain picked ANY of the "also rans" in the GOP Primary as his VP, I might have even voted for him. I kind of felt sorry for the way he was twisted into some new person once Palin entered the picture. McCain of 2000 could easily be a very popular president right now.
What I don't get, however, is how the conservatives went from calling liberals "un-American"....to celebrating the loss of a chance to host the Olympic Games and pulling their hair out over the fact that the President won some SYMBOLIC prize from a jury of 5 Norwegians. Have we really become that petty? You can really tell the people who just DON'T LIKE OBAMA as a person....or a human being for that matter. They're the ones who count how many times he says the word "I" in his speeches. They're the ones who are outraged that he went with Michelle to a Broadway show. At least he wasn't "clearing brush on a ranch." The same could be said for those who treated George Bush the same way.
It was a little unfair for those who bashed Bush for every little thing. I'm sure there are a lot of things that are good about Bush as a person, friend, or dad.....but in my opinion, he was a horrible "spokesman" for the American people. Without the 9/11 attack, I think he would've had a virtually uneventful term. But the obvious need for us to fight back gave him the opportunity to show our "ugly American" side to the rest of the world. In the month after the attack, MOST of the world was behind us....a year later, many countries DESPISED us. That is a simple fact. Most of that can't be blamed simply on Bush, though. It was the "Freedom Fries" and the "How many wars has France won" lists on talk radio. It was the use of the word "Crusade" by a Christian president in a war against Islamic radicals. Most Americans would respond to that statement with "we don't care what other countries think of us." Well, how many countries devoted some of their troops IN OUR DEFENSE against the Taliban and al Qaeda? Lots of them. They did this because they wanted to support us.
I would love for those who whine and moan about EVERY LITTLE THING "the other side" says or does in this country to view it from another country's point of view. We must seem like a nation of spoiled brats and crybabies. In the past year, we've gone from blaming Bush for lying about the need for war--to questioning our elected President's place of birth, complaining about our President joining OTHER HEADS OF STATE in trying to bring his country the Olympic games, videos of reporters rejoicing in the fact that a major US city will not receive a host of international visitors and the money they'll bring to the economy, and heated debates about the validity of a Nobel Prize. Now I know where the term "Ugly American" comes from.
Another disclosure: I love this country. We survived 8 years of 2 wars and a very shady administration and I believe we'll survive the next 4 or 8 years. The fact that we get to have major elections every two years is what makes us so great. If you don't like it, vote for a change. But in a country where only about 60% of registered voters voted in the 2008 election...what do you expect?
Okay. Rant over. My apologies to those I've offended.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Illinois Enema Bandit
That is the title to one of the songs on my new DVD by Frank Zappa. Also included on this musical gem: Watermelon in Easter Hay, Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk, Planet of the Baritone Women, Black Napkins, and The Torture Never Stops.
Frank had a way with writing very funny or political songs. He was kind of an uncensored version of Weird Al Yankovic. If you think his song titles were crazy, you should see the lyrics. Some of the other crazy songs:
You Are What You Is, Zomby Woof, My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama, Easy Meat, G-Spot Tornado, Uncle Meat, Dog Breath Variations, He's So Gay, Keep It Greasey, Honey Don't You Want A Man Like Me, Call Any Vegetable, I'm The Slime, Tryin' To Grow A Chin, Disco Boy, and many more.
I spent most of the day watching the first two discs of Season Two of Paranormal State. Very exciting stuff. I love to be scared, but not much scares me anymore. There really isn't much out there that is bad enough to get me to check under the bed before I go to sleep anymore. Some of the books I've read lately (Hostage to the Devil, Glimpses of the Devil) about demon possession are about as close as it gets to giving me the "creeps."
There is a small handful of movies that almost still do it for me. Portions of The Exorcism of Emily Rose and The Exorcist work because they were based on actual events. There is supposed to be a "Blair Witch" type movie coming out soon called Paranormal Activity. It's being shown in only a few theaters and I hope it goes nationwide. I've heard pretty good reviews of it.
The best thing about October is the amount of really good scary movies and documentaries on SyFy, A&E, History Channel and Discovery.
As far as really good scary or creepy movies I have in my collection, these are the ones I'd recommend:
Let The Right One In
The Shining
Rosemary's Baby
Jacob's Ladder
The Exorcist
The Exorcism of Emily Rose (look up the YouTube posts of Anelise Michel, the girl the movie was based on....very disturbing)
The St. Francisville Experiement
Martyrs
The Orphanage
Frank had a way with writing very funny or political songs. He was kind of an uncensored version of Weird Al Yankovic. If you think his song titles were crazy, you should see the lyrics. Some of the other crazy songs:
You Are What You Is, Zomby Woof, My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama, Easy Meat, G-Spot Tornado, Uncle Meat, Dog Breath Variations, He's So Gay, Keep It Greasey, Honey Don't You Want A Man Like Me, Call Any Vegetable, I'm The Slime, Tryin' To Grow A Chin, Disco Boy, and many more.
I spent most of the day watching the first two discs of Season Two of Paranormal State. Very exciting stuff. I love to be scared, but not much scares me anymore. There really isn't much out there that is bad enough to get me to check under the bed before I go to sleep anymore. Some of the books I've read lately (Hostage to the Devil, Glimpses of the Devil) about demon possession are about as close as it gets to giving me the "creeps."
There is a small handful of movies that almost still do it for me. Portions of The Exorcism of Emily Rose and The Exorcist work because they were based on actual events. There is supposed to be a "Blair Witch" type movie coming out soon called Paranormal Activity. It's being shown in only a few theaters and I hope it goes nationwide. I've heard pretty good reviews of it.
The best thing about October is the amount of really good scary movies and documentaries on SyFy, A&E, History Channel and Discovery.
As far as really good scary or creepy movies I have in my collection, these are the ones I'd recommend:
Let The Right One In
The Shining
Rosemary's Baby
Jacob's Ladder
The Exorcist
The Exorcism of Emily Rose (look up the YouTube posts of Anelise Michel, the girl the movie was based on....very disturbing)
The St. Francisville Experiement
Martyrs
The Orphanage
Paranormal Phun!
So, I found a new show to watch on Tuesday night. It's on Discovery Channel and it's called "Ghost Lab." It's a slight twist on the ghost hunter shows in that it uses a lot of technology to capture data. Plus, the guys on the show are pretty funny and have fun. This show uses something I've seen on a few of the other similar shows. It's basically creating an environment through sounds or music that was in use at the time of the suspected ghosts in order to draw them out. Ghost Hunters has used this in a couple of places.
I miss my ghost hunting days. When Judd (Burton) and I started our "West Texas Paranormal Research Society", we had high hopes. But now all of the members live hundreds of miles away from each other. We had some fun investigations, though. I remember when we had free reign on about 75% of the Wooten Hotel back when it first opened. We spent most of an entire night going through there. There was also our trip to Jefferson, Texas to stay in Room 19 of the haunted Jefferson Hotel. We also made a couple of home visits in Hamlin and Sweetwater to investigate some strange happenings. I've still got the tapes from those two trips. I'm feeling like I need to go back through them and give them another listen.
On a similar note, I was at Hastings for my weekly bargain-hunting trip and stumbled across Season Three of Paranormal State. I was kind of excited because I've missed all season due to the Monday Night Party on the Patio at the Seafood Tavern. It's fitting that it came out in October. I'm still wondering if they'll ever put the "Paranormal Kids" show on DVD. I really liked that show.
Last night's show at the Tavern with Kelly Murphey was another fun one. I never thought I'd have another conversation about the SASSI test (psychological screening tool we used at the Juvenile Justice Center). I've still got a cassette tape of my first interview during our training for the SASSI in Huntsville back in 2000.
The Frank Zappa Live in Barcelona concert DVD came in yesterday. Mom called me and said "you've got a package here from......Argentina?"
I'm looking forward to watching it. I just hope it's not "bootleg-quality", being that it's not an official Zappa family release. But then, 90% of Frank's music is bootlegs and compilations.
I'm now at the point where I have to start debating with myself whether or not I want to keep this beard. I've finally blended it in to where it basically covers my entire lower face, but how long will I be able to allow it to grow? I was hoping to keep in until Halloween, when I have to make another decision on what I want to be this year. Any suggestions?
There's always the "Slash" from Guns N Roses from a few years ago. Not much will top last year's "Lt. Dangle" costume.
I miss my ghost hunting days. When Judd (Burton) and I started our "West Texas Paranormal Research Society", we had high hopes. But now all of the members live hundreds of miles away from each other. We had some fun investigations, though. I remember when we had free reign on about 75% of the Wooten Hotel back when it first opened. We spent most of an entire night going through there. There was also our trip to Jefferson, Texas to stay in Room 19 of the haunted Jefferson Hotel. We also made a couple of home visits in Hamlin and Sweetwater to investigate some strange happenings. I've still got the tapes from those two trips. I'm feeling like I need to go back through them and give them another listen.
On a similar note, I was at Hastings for my weekly bargain-hunting trip and stumbled across Season Three of Paranormal State. I was kind of excited because I've missed all season due to the Monday Night Party on the Patio at the Seafood Tavern. It's fitting that it came out in October. I'm still wondering if they'll ever put the "Paranormal Kids" show on DVD. I really liked that show.
Last night's show at the Tavern with Kelly Murphey was another fun one. I never thought I'd have another conversation about the SASSI test (psychological screening tool we used at the Juvenile Justice Center). I've still got a cassette tape of my first interview during our training for the SASSI in Huntsville back in 2000.
The Frank Zappa Live in Barcelona concert DVD came in yesterday. Mom called me and said "you've got a package here from......Argentina?"
I'm looking forward to watching it. I just hope it's not "bootleg-quality", being that it's not an official Zappa family release. But then, 90% of Frank's music is bootlegs and compilations.
I'm now at the point where I have to start debating with myself whether or not I want to keep this beard. I've finally blended it in to where it basically covers my entire lower face, but how long will I be able to allow it to grow? I was hoping to keep in until Halloween, when I have to make another decision on what I want to be this year. Any suggestions?
There's always the "Slash" from Guns N Roses from a few years ago. Not much will top last year's "Lt. Dangle" costume.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
I Just Saw A Clip Of Tom DeLay Dancing And Choked On My Hamburger
Okay. That was a long post title and I'm sorry. But it really just happened. Well...it was a quick day at work. We got a little bit of rain at our last stop, but I found a rain jacket underneath the seat on the truck. After coming home and surfing the Abilene Reporter-News online message board for the daily insights from the random field of Big Country whackos, I'm bored. It's funny how "Liberal", "Democrat", "Republican" and "Conservative" have become insults. Politics is the ugliest side of being an American. I never wanted to be a politician, but I'd love to be a journalist covering.....not politicians......but the ugly things they say about the other side. It sure would be fun to fact-check everything they say and use it against them. I often catch myself doing the same thing when I'm on the AR-N message board. Thank the Lord for Google!
In the car today, I put the "Roxy/& Elsewhere" CD from Frank Zappa back in the player. I really wish the Zappa family would release the video footage from those shows. That was one of my favorite incarnations of the group...mainly because of the horn section and the AMAZING Napoleon Murphy Brock. Plus, it had some good back-and-forth banter between Frank and the band members---not to mention the dance contest at the end. It just doesn't translate well without the video.
I'm going to try not to sing Frank's praises on every post, but at the moment, I'm in a big Zappa phase. I stumbled onto Frank in a "reverse-engineering" type of way. It started with my fascination with Steve Vai back in high school. Steve's guitar playing and musical structuring was like NOTHING I had ever heard before. It was like a mix of classical compositions and hard rock guitar, with a little LSD-induced hallucinations intertwined. Soon after that, I found Dweezil and his brother's (Ahmet) band called AZ/DZ. I had no idea that their dad was a musician. In the middle of my Dream Theater phase, I learned that their drummer (Mike Portnoy) was a HUGE Zappa fan. I found a VHS tape for rent of a tribute concert for Frank that included Steve Vai and Dweezil (the two main reasons I wanted to watch it). It blew my mind. I suddenly realized where all of these great musicians learned their craft of turning music into psychedelic soundscapes. Since then, I've tried my hardest to get as many Zappa CDs and DVDs as I can find. This may be an expensive task, though, because unlike other musicians who died way before their time, Frank has over 70 albums and a million bootlegs and compilations. Happy Hunting!
Well, it seems my niece's golf team at McMurry is going to be a really good one. They've placed in the top 3 or 4 in just about every tournament and she's shooting in the low 80's and upper 70's. I hope they can make it back to Nationals this year.
Cooler weather means that Winter is on its way! (Oops...forgot about Fall)
Oh, well. It's closer to Thanksgiving and Christmas...which means I'll be gaining weight again! This Christmas, the family will be heading back to Ruidoso to a rented house to spend the holidays. This is the fourth year in a row that we've decided to take a trip instead of exchanging gifts. Luckily, my family gets along and we usually laugh and play games the entire time. This year we lucked out and got a 2-story house with a hot tub, fooseball and pool tables. And we've been lucky so far to have snow on Christmas day every time. I hope that continues. Last year, I made the kids watch Season One of Paranormal State and some of my Ghost Hunters DVDs. I wonder what I can do to scare them this year....
Well....at the moment, Buckley is curled up in his paper sack with his nose and tail sticking out. I'm trying to distract him lately because he thinks he gets to go outside every time the door is open.
I'm about 3/4ths of the way through my current book: "Hostage to the Devil" by Malachi Martin. It is a very disturbing book about Possession and Exorcism in the mid- and late-1900's. If anyone has read Frank Peretti's books or watched the movies "The Exorcist" and "The Exorcism of Emily Rose"....this book is basically a REAL version of them all. Very disturbing.
Okay. Well, that's all for today. I hope you enjoyed everything that spilled out of my brain today. Check back soon for more fun highlights of my meager existence!
Monday, October 5, 2009
A First Time For Everything....
Where do I start? I've been contemplating taking up a new blog for a while now, but I thought I should wait until I get a new computer. That happened earlier this summer, so I guess I have no more excuses.
As I said in my blog description, I'll probably devote most of my time to my tastes in music and movies, politics, random musings about how dumb we are as a civilization, and what my cat "Buckley" happens to do from day to day. I'll make every attempt to at least type something every day that I'm on my computer--whether or not it is worthy of reading will be another hurdle to jump. Ill do my best.
Well, today is Monday...and it's already half-over. I met my mom at Hastings today because she was in town and ended up buying "The Orphanage" on DVD (great movie if you don't mind subtitles) and a book called "The Secret Founding of America" by Nicholas Hagger. That's right up my alley. I'm a big fan of what I affectionately call "Alternative History." I'm thoroughly disgusted by what passes as history in the classroom. My biggest gripe is the slanted history we give towards Christopher Columbus. It's funny how he and fellow Western Europeans who stumbled across our shores get painted as "discoverers" and "heroes" to both their native countries and our own. Little is said in textbooks of the atrocities committed by them and their crews to the natives. In the interest of not talking too much about one subject, I'd suggest you read the first section of Howard Zinn's book "A People's History of the United States" or the second chapter of James W. Loewen's "Lies My Teacher Told Me."
(Funny side note, on a local newspaper's online message board, I strongly disputed the claims of a nationally-syndicated columnists {http://www.creators.com/opinion/miguel-perez/archive.html} opinion columns in which he praised such mass-murderers/land-grabbers/disease spreaders as Cortez, Columbus, and Pizarro. He returned the favor by citing part of my scathing retort in his next column. I guess that was my 15 sentences of fame!)
Okay, now....on to music:
I'm excited that I found the money-sucking online shrine eBay! I've already bought a Frank Zappa concert DVD and a Zappa vintage t-shirt. You'll soon realize that I've got a strong passion for Frank Zappa as a musician and satirical genius. It's an acquired taste, but if you're a big fan of musical prodigies and really funny/political/topical lyrics, then Frank is the mad scientist that created them both and made the monster that is progressive rock. Frank is one of those musicians that would be contemporary in any decade. He'd still be relevant today if he hadn't died of cancer back in the early '90's. The man didn't do drugs and never drank....but his addiction to cigarettes put an end to what would have been another 30 or 40 years of musical perfection. I really wish he was still alive....
Well, Buckley (the cat) really isn't very active today. He got his daily trip out into the front yard to have his recommended daily allowance of chewed grass that will soon end up on one of my floors in a puddle of spit. Looking forward to that!
Well.....in football action tonight: Favre against the Packers. I'll probably watch just because of the circumstances. Looks like another Monday night at the Seafood Tavern. This cooler weather is going to make "Party on the Patio" a little more bearable. In other music-related news...I'm a little happy that I chose to sell my Austin City Limits Music Festival ticket this year. It rained all day Saturday and reports said it looked like a giant mud pit. Maybe they'll consider moving it back to September next year.
Well, that's it for Episode One. I hope you come back for more! Bookmark this page and check it regularly! Thanks for checking in!
As I said in my blog description, I'll probably devote most of my time to my tastes in music and movies, politics, random musings about how dumb we are as a civilization, and what my cat "Buckley" happens to do from day to day. I'll make every attempt to at least type something every day that I'm on my computer--whether or not it is worthy of reading will be another hurdle to jump. Ill do my best.
Well, today is Monday...and it's already half-over. I met my mom at Hastings today because she was in town and ended up buying "The Orphanage" on DVD (great movie if you don't mind subtitles) and a book called "The Secret Founding of America" by Nicholas Hagger. That's right up my alley. I'm a big fan of what I affectionately call "Alternative History." I'm thoroughly disgusted by what passes as history in the classroom. My biggest gripe is the slanted history we give towards Christopher Columbus. It's funny how he and fellow Western Europeans who stumbled across our shores get painted as "discoverers" and "heroes" to both their native countries and our own. Little is said in textbooks of the atrocities committed by them and their crews to the natives. In the interest of not talking too much about one subject, I'd suggest you read the first section of Howard Zinn's book "A People's History of the United States" or the second chapter of James W. Loewen's "Lies My Teacher Told Me."
(Funny side note, on a local newspaper's online message board, I strongly disputed the claims of a nationally-syndicated columnists {http://www.creators.com/opinion/miguel-perez/archive.html} opinion columns in which he praised such mass-murderers/land-grabbers/disease spreaders as Cortez, Columbus, and Pizarro. He returned the favor by citing part of my scathing retort in his next column. I guess that was my 15 sentences of fame!)
Okay, now....on to music:
I'm excited that I found the money-sucking online shrine eBay! I've already bought a Frank Zappa concert DVD and a Zappa vintage t-shirt. You'll soon realize that I've got a strong passion for Frank Zappa as a musician and satirical genius. It's an acquired taste, but if you're a big fan of musical prodigies and really funny/political/topical lyrics, then Frank is the mad scientist that created them both and made the monster that is progressive rock. Frank is one of those musicians that would be contemporary in any decade. He'd still be relevant today if he hadn't died of cancer back in the early '90's. The man didn't do drugs and never drank....but his addiction to cigarettes put an end to what would have been another 30 or 40 years of musical perfection. I really wish he was still alive....
Well, Buckley (the cat) really isn't very active today. He got his daily trip out into the front yard to have his recommended daily allowance of chewed grass that will soon end up on one of my floors in a puddle of spit. Looking forward to that!
Well.....in football action tonight: Favre against the Packers. I'll probably watch just because of the circumstances. Looks like another Monday night at the Seafood Tavern. This cooler weather is going to make "Party on the Patio" a little more bearable. In other music-related news...I'm a little happy that I chose to sell my Austin City Limits Music Festival ticket this year. It rained all day Saturday and reports said it looked like a giant mud pit. Maybe they'll consider moving it back to September next year.
Well, that's it for Episode One. I hope you come back for more! Bookmark this page and check it regularly! Thanks for checking in!
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